Embracing Love: A Fearless Path

In a profound and enlightening discussion, Sonia Pallack unfold a narrative that delves into the profound significance of love, trauma, and self-realization.
Sonia is an orthodontist and author of the "Leave the Little Light On" book series, and shares her personal journey of healing, rediscovering love, and embracing radical empathy.
This transformative conversation sheds light on the complexities of love, individual journeys, and the power of self-awareness. Let's explore the key themes and insights revealed in this compelling dialogue.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Leave-Little-Light-Book-One/dp/103916238X
https://www.soniapalleck.com/blog
https://www.soniapalleck.com
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/193380187-leave-the-little-light-on-book-two

Please note transcription accuracy may vary.

Music by - Neffex - don't want to let myself down 
Neffex - A year go

Transcript

Ad: 0:00

hi, hi, hi. Welcome to another episode of Their Story, Their Voice. This episode I speak to Sonia Palak. This episode is all about Love. Sonia is an author, she's written a series of four books. There's so much negativity everywhere. going on in the world and I wanted to just add this in. Not related, but I didn't think it was okay to not add it in, Do I stand with the Israeli government? Definitely not. Do I stand with Hamas? Definitely not. But do I stand with those people who are suffering? Yes, I do. Just like everyone stood up and stood for Ukraine. This shouldn't be any different. Also, this shouldn't be happening. And yes, because I just have to get it in there. I could have an entire rant, but this is not the platform for my rant. This isn't the Palestinians fault. The Palestinians are not all in support of the atrocities that happened And not all Israelis are in support or are responsible for what the Israeli government are doing. I wanted to speak to Sonia because Sonia is about love. Hi Sonia. Thank you so, so, so much for agreeing to join me.

Sonia: 1:43

I'm so happy to be here.

Ad: 1:45

thank you honestly, especially at the moment or always, We just need more love everywhere in the world.

Sonia: 1:51

Yes, I think that's always been the journey. I think it's always been like that for all time. I think that whenever, you know, we're going through it, we think it's, it's unlike any other time for humanity, but I don't, I don't see it that way. I sort of see it like, I imagine that all people go through this all the time and that we're, you know, quite well where we are. I mean, the world is in chaos, but it should be. Because of where we're at, we're not focused on love. And so when we lose our way and step off that path, I mean, the world should be chaos. If everything was fine, then. You know, we would sort of confirm that love isn't the way, but I mean, when you see where we're at, you really know this is, this is what we need.

Ad: 2:38

I get that and I, I agree always. Okay. I'm going to just ask you just really quickly, take your time. I will be quick, but you can take as long as you want. Would you tell me a bit about you, anything that you're happy sharing?

Sonia: 3:01

I'm an orthodontist by day. I've been a dentist for 30 years and I run my own private practice. I recently authored a book series of four books that have become really and truly my calling and my passion. The series is called Leave the Little Light On. I've developed sort of this persona of being a love advocate through this writing. It's a teaching about love and trauma and sort of our framing of life and humanity. And so I think that this is Yeah, what I've been called to do is just to, speak to the world about what I think is most important, and that's love.

Ad: 3:42

Can I ask? I will be this annoying and just want to ask questions. what made you believe this is your calling. This is your passion because you have a successful career. So what led you to believe that actually there's something more out there for you that you wanted to explore?

Sonia: 4:05

it's a, an interesting story. It was March 1st, 2020, and I was lying in bed, it was around 4am, and a man's voice outside of my consciousness said in my ear, it's time to write. And I jumped out of bed, and I looked around my house to see if someone was there, and there wasn't, and I just, I asked, you know, God is that you, and it was unsettling for sure, I went to the shelf, I got a journal and a pen, and I sat down, I crossed myself, and I said a prayer, I just said, whatever this is. is let it be for good and out came this story and Quickly into the story. I recognized that I was this little girl Athena and the story is about a little girl Athena and I realized halfway down the page. Oh, this was me when I was three. I recognized this and um You know, and I wrote and wrote for an hour. It just poured out of me and, uh, and then I sort of came out of this state of being and I thought it was 5 a. m. and I thought, okay, it's time to go to work and I just went to work. I didn't really speak to anybody about what had happened to me that morning because it was so strange. And the next morning at 4 a m. my eyes just opened. With this knowing that it was time to write and I was really shocked when I sat down and the story just sort of picked up right where it left off and I just wrote for a solid hour and I would disappear in those hours I would just become that little girl I would be in the scene I would be reliving these moments of my life and It's based on my life, but it reads like fiction, like a story, and I think it's because people learn by stories, but this experience went on for me for 15 months straight. And I, and it was always at 4 a. m., so it was quite annoying, actually, because it was every single day at 4 a. m. till 5 a. m. And no matter what, you know, if I had to go to work or I didn't. And I, but after having gone through it, um, I mean even halfway through, I knew that this was some message for the world, that there was a lot of divine wisdom held in these stories, uh, this journey that you go through, it's sort of like, what's happening to this girl and how is she developing as a person. In the midst of a society that is racist and sexist and classist and a family that's dysfunctional with alcoholic parent and chaos and, uh, you know, and then her own mind and what she alone is making sense of things that seem unjust and unfair to her. and the stories that she's telling herself and I realized this is the human experience and What we need to do is feel it to heal it We go through our lives like this and when we become adults we have difficulty getting back in touch with that small child and so free that moment You know what happened to me before that moment because I seem to have everything. I had a successful practice Yes, I was married for 22 years at a big house and All of that, and that all just went away. I was, undergoing a painful divorce, and I lost everything I owned. my daughter, who was at the time a teenager, went to live with her father and wouldn't speak to me. And... You know, I just sort of hit rock bottom where I was completely alone. I lost my parents within a few years of each other right after that. And it was like everything just went away. And I had gone through this journey myself of just trying to heal what was going on in me. trying to rebuild my life, but on the premise of one love. That's where I started. It was sort of like in my mind, I searched around and I thought, well, who, who do I think was peaceful in this world? Jesus, Buddha, John Lennon, you know, Bob Marley. Like I looked for people that were inspiring to me in their message and the way that they live their life. And I listened to a lot of people and I did a lot of healing therapy and any kind of journey I could get my hands on. and I really developed this sense of, it has to be one love. There's a truth to that spoke to me and where I did not ever feel that in my life and when I actually got there and I realized that in my life what I had based my definition of love on, it was incorrect. society gives us these examples and then says, you know, the princess tale, this is love. That's not love. It's a selective on judgment based on judgment and selection, love is universal. Love is unconditional. Love is for everyone and we are one

Ad: 9:09

what did you define love as? Before embarking on this journey, what was love to you then?

Sonia: 9:18

I'm not really sure. I think that I was bobbling around in the idea that love is a mystery, that love is undefinable, that love has conditions. it's as simple as, you know, if a parent hits you and then says in the very next second, I love you, to me, love embodied some kind of suffering. Jesus died on the cross for us, for our sins, because he loved us. He suffered for us. And I don't believe that any longer. love is the absence of suffering. And I think that this, twist of like love and suffering, you're gonna, the angsty way that movies portrayed love in the 70s and 80s and the music, you'll pine away for years for someone because you love them. I mean, this is a complete self sacrifice. You'll martyr yourself as a mother, because you love your children, you'll deny yourself every sort of, you know, time and effort for your own self and well being. I mean, this is not loving. And yet, these are, these are the ways that we're shown and taught, and those become our beliefs. This is love. And I always felt like there was some untruth to the way that I loved others in that, in that regard that I, sacrificed my own truth in order to belong and to be accepted, but it wasn't truthful. Because I was worried that if I actually said how I felt or what I thought that I would be rejected and so I had to sort of conform, you know, instead of just be

Ad: 10:56

I can relate I don't know if it's just society or how we've grown up. It's true. we all want to be loved. We all want to be loved. And I feel like maybe I don't know if it's the same now, but for me personally and people that I know, I know that our idea of, people loving us is sacrificing sometimes what might be best for us and that's actually really sad.

Sonia: 11:28

right and the base, the basic is that's not love. That's tolerance. That's conditioning. that's literally what we've been conditioned and brainwashed to believe because we, our generation, like Generation X was systemically, systematically brainwashed. Just brainwashing is sort of by an authority that repeats and sort of gives but takes and so it keeps you guessing in any situation and then you don't know how to respond or how to react as a child and Then you're it's twisted and you're actually blamed for it I mean lots of us grew up even being blamed for being you know where you had the thought well I didn't ask to be born, you know where you were blamed that it was difficult to put food on the table as though you had some You know, methodology of conspiring to ruin your parents financial life by being there and you felt guilty for it, you know, until you didn't want to be a burden to anybody. And ultimately, all of that brainwashing leads to an inability to question authority. It leads to us, our silence. And that's why you don't hear from our generation very much. We're very retracted. We're very on the sidelines. I'm trying to correct. You know, our parents were pivoting. We created Millennials, so I mean, we've pivoted and maybe we've overcorrected or overshot in some ways that, you know, we're, we don't, we've lacked some accountability or responsibility, I guess, for our actions, you know, in that, in that way, but I think that, um, if we, if we sort of look at how we've come along and say, well, we're adults now. This is our time now. And what needs to happen is for our generation to go back and heal our small children who underwent this punishing and cruel society and largely, I mean, you didn't need to go to school to get bullied. A lot of us got bullied at home. and so it was very real. And those experiences formed our beliefs. about life. These were the people who loved us and they could be cruel and punishing. And=so that's what love entails. And so we have an altered level of acceptance of this bad behavior, which we don't deserve and we shouldn't accept. And we need to go back and understand that what happened to recreate a new belief system for ourselves.

Ad: 14:00

I only know a small amount about Generation X because my partner is part of that generation and I can see that we are worlds apart, complete worlds apart and I say things to him and he'll say that I'm part of a snowflake generation I don't see that as a bad thing we Millennials wouldn't be Millennials if Generation X hadn't have gone through what they had gone through, and I'm not saying that's okay, I'm, I guess it's a thank you.

Sonia: 14:35

Yeah.

Ad: 14:35

sorry.

Sonia: 14:37

I think that everybody is. On the same journey, like you say, we're all here to remember who we are, we are love, we are one love, and we are the energy of love, and it is the energy, the spirit, the amount of light that is in us, that is equal, and the vessel is simply holding us, the body is a unique vessel, and it's, there's only one, there's only one of you, and there never will be another you, you. And in knowing that, you can't be lumped into any group. You cannot be compared, and you can't be measured, because it's so unique. And the body is simply to hold that light, and then to allow it to filter through you, which means that everything you do, everything you do will be original. It will never be like another's, and this, and that's miraculous. To me, and I think that we've lost sight of how original and how special each and every individual is in wanting to classify everyone. I mean from the very basics of men and women and sort of deciding when you see that, oh, it's a woman, you're going to have all kinds of preconceived notions because it's been predefined. And then let's further it down, okay, skin color, and it's a white woman, and then you're going to have an age bracket, it's an older white woman, and then you're going to have a classist bracket, she's an older rich white woman, and now we start to really understand, okay, we're all honing in on exactly knowing this person before you've met the person. And there's no such thing, because none of those brackets or classes or classifications or groupings are valid, because we're all so different, and in losing that uniqueness, we are, are able, I think, in our society, and this is the way the society's been built, to be based off of those degrees of separation, the ways that we're different, or the ways that some are the same, that it becomes us and them instead of, you

Ad: 16:52

No, you're, no, you're right. It's the conscious bias, even the unconscious bias that we're not even aware of, which is, and I'm not saying it's right because I definitely do not agree, but it's just how society has been structured.

Sonia: 17:10

that's the backdrop for us to grow up in. And it's not, so it's not specific to Gen X because Gen X had that society, but it was right out in the open. I mean, it was so plain in your face. It was like slap you in the face. I mean, being a homosexual when I was young was illegal. That's insanity. And yet, as it's evolved, this still exists. All of these biases and separation still exists. So yes, millennial, you know, had some advantage. You know, potentially a kinder upbringing, a more, you know, universal approach, which maybe puts them in closer contact to their inner inner world, which is really what I believe is our purpose, is to remember that we are love. And so everybody on the planet comes not knowing, comes forgetting that they're love, and then they have to remember. That's the game. And if wherever anyone is on their journey, it's all going to be different all along the way. Some of us will have remembered, and some won't yet, and they'll be on different paths of this journey. And That's what we're here for is simply to help each other along on this journey of remembering that we are loved and If we are not there to help, but once you remember your love, you're really called That's that comes back to that calling. I'm called to say how do I tell people what I know? Because it will end their suffering. Like, when you are understanding that you are love, love is so unconditional, so accepting, this one love, it will make you feel so safe, and just incredible in awe of what a miraculous creation the world is, and the life that you live, that it's absolute, peace. And you want everyone else to be there as well. Now, everyone will struggle against what they see in a reality, and the books that I've written are sort of to help draw people back to the nature of those beliefs. It's to walk through it and see, you know, you told yourself something similar happened to you that was dramatic, where you felt lonely, where you felt sad, where you felt separate, and you told yourself a story about it, and what was that story? And this is the story that the society told, and I think because the 70s and 80s was so obviously wrong in the way the society operated that it's easy for people to see what's missing, even people who, still maybe subscribe to those beliefs. And we know there's a lot of people like that, who still staunchly believe that there's us and them, that we are separate. You know, that you and I are not equal, which is insane. Again, insanity. It's, you know, but that still exists and it's like, how do we, how do we illustrate a point to, to the masses, to the people who are not contemplating, you know, what am I doing here? Rather, what do I have to do to get this gas bill paid or to get my mortgage paid? You know, we're distracted by all things that we have and all this busyness, but it isn't really the purpose of our being.

Ad: 20:11

I'm just completely mesmerized by everything you are saying because you are all about love. And you said something earlier in that you looked at different people. Jesus, John Lennon and I love that you looked at all of these different, not just Jesus, obviously, who is known in the Christian religion mainly, or John Lennon, who was in my head, I think this is correct, was in the 60s. you went broader, you looked at all of these different people and how they represented love to different people and I really love that.

Sonia: 20:55

you. Well, it was something because to me it was seemed elusive. You know, love, I didn't see people, as a child when someone said, you know, you have to look inside and see the inside. That's what's important. I mean, I was told that as a child and I just didn't see that in anybody. And the reason is I didn't see it in myself at all. if you don't see yourself as love and you are not loving to you, as a person, so you're calling yourself names, you're putting yourself down, you're punishing yourself. for mistakes you've made, with guilt or shame, and you're just relentless in this, then that is simply as well as you can love others, because we are one. And so there is no like, Oh, I'm good at giving love to others, but I have trouble with loving myself. Then I'd say, well, what you are is doing things for others, but you are not loving others, because if you do not love yourself, You cannot love others. You will only be able to do this in the same way. We are one, and so it's a give and take in the same way this energy is exchanged. And so when you develop this sort of insecurities or self hate, I would say like a, You know, this punishing state of being, of shame, largely, from when we're children, we have to remove that. We have to release ourselves from the grip of that. We have to see that not only are we worthy of love, because I really do not like the statement that you're enough. This whole campaign going on, you're enough. because to me, saying that you're enough, it implies that a human being could be measured. that we could have a way of analyzing when is the threshold been met, that you're enough. I mean, you are everything.

Ad: 22:47

I've never thought of it like that before.

Sonia: 22:50

And that's the statement in your mind, you need to say to yourself, I am everything. And feel your heartbeat, because you alone are a universe. You have the entire universe of love living inside of you. It is just mountainous, the power that lives in us, and to think that we're sitting right on it and we're oblivious to it. because we're in fear and separation from each other, and that means from our own self. And so you cannot change another human being, but you can venture inside yourself to find it. Now that is what is terrifying. People would, men would rather pick up guns and go start wars than sit with their feelings. And, That's what the books, again, that's what my books do. It's sort of this journey and it creates radical empathy. I don't know. Do you know Isabel Wilkerson? Have you read her books?

Ad: 23:49

I haven't, no, but tell me.

Sonia: 23:52

wrote The Warmth of Other Suns and Caste. and her books are brilliant and at the back of one of her books, it was about the black migration in the south to the north and also the caste system in the U. S. and how it was set up and In the back of her book, she said to heal, we need radical empathy. We need to develop radical empathy. And empathy is a feeling of walking in another's shoes. How, of embodying how another person would feel in that situation to understand them. And I thought on that very much. So when I was called to write, and I was doing the writing, I realized these books will create radical empathy. And that is what they do. You feel so much for Athena. There's all walks, all people, all races, sexes, whatever, tell me, I relate so much to Athena. I relate so much to this person and my belief is because Athena is written as a human being and not as a hero. She's flawed. She's, misguided and she's well meaning, but she can also be angry or petty, and cruel. And in her journey, we see ourselves, this struggle of like, here's our outward actions, here's our inner world and this is, how she's punishing on herself and this is as most of us live. And until she understands this and heals this aspect of herself, she'll always be a prisoner there. She'll never see others, not in their true form, because she can't see herself.

Ad: 25:30

do you believe whomever it was that was saying to you, you need to write, had so many different intentions, one, to actually help you cope with, or I guess express trauma that maybe you'd been carrying around with you and to then pass that on to help others. Is that what, because that's what I'm getting, but if I'm wrong, just let me know.

Sonia: 25:55

No, that's, that's definitely part of it. I felt I had already healed from it, although I had all of these... This history in me, and I think that a lot of writers do. I was very observant, always felt sort of like outside of myself and watching everything in my life as opposed to living it. but it was very cathartic to write it all down. I felt like when I wrote it out, it came out of me, that I no longer carry this story in me, that it's to share with others and that that was my purpose. That's why I came. was to do that. and to do that hard work. I am very disciplined. I am very studious and I am capable of getting up every day from four to five and writing for an hour, you know, because I believed in it. I just, I knew that I was being called and that there was some greater purpose beyond, you know, me needing sleep or, you know, feeling like, oh, I don't want to do this today, that I could overcome that and just go do it. it took nine months to dictate the books in and type them out and then another year and a half to bring them all out. But they were all, they'll all be published this year. So the first book was published in March and the second in July, the third in September and the fourth one will have a publication date of next month in November And that will be the series.

Ad: 27:21

when you started, did you always anticipate that there was going to be a series? Is that what you envisioned was going to happen or

Sonia: 27:31

No, I was writing by hand, so I was writing with a pen, and in notebooks. And so I didn't know how much typing it actually was. And when people would ask me, I would say, well, I believe I'm writing a book in four parts. The parts are, the books are called Leave the Little Light On, and the books are Windsor, London, Dorchester, and Woodstock. And I knew that there were four parts, but when I dictated them in, I didn't realize that I had actually written over 600, 000 words, so when the volume came to my attention, I realized, oh my goodness, these are four large books. Like, these are not even just small books. These are actual four books.

Ad: 28:14

Can I just, I really dislike that I do this, so don't, please don't give any spoilers, but if you would just say, so, Each book still continues with Athena.

Sonia: 28:28

Yes, so each book, it follows Athena's life from the age of three till the age of fifty. But each book on its own is a standalone book. It's got sort of a different cast of characters, and you could read these four books in any order. and still get everything out of them, I think. It's interesting because they're all in the present tense, and so they don't jump around, they don't flash forward or flash back. They walk you through in the moment, so it's as though you're with the girl. And I think that's also an important lesson, is that we have to live in the now, and keep our mind on our present moment, and be present in our lives. And but yeah, you could jump all around, you could read them backwards. And they would still make perfect sense.

Ad: 29:15

Okay. So you don't actually need to start with the first one that you don't actually need to do that. Can I just say though, I do, I'm very much an advocate because this is what I'm taught. in meditation that the best place to be is in the present moment. I do like that you said that.

Sonia: 29:36

Yes, yes, being present allows us to, to realize certain things. You know, if we're away from ourselves in this moment, if our minds are in the future a lot of times, then that's where anxiety lives. You know, anxiety and worry. And if we're in the past, we're likely in depression or, you know, sadness, a lot of times reliving something or regret that we wish hadn't happened, or reliving some past trauma instead of healing it. And really, you just have to feel it to heal it. But most of us have difficulty with that because it seems terrifying to sit in your feelings. They won't kill you, but we'll do anything as human beings to avoid it. That's where most of our numbing behaviors come from. Drinking, eating, you know, gambling, smoking, drugs, you know, all of it.

Ad: 30:26

sometimes I can only speak for myself. Sometimes when you delve Deep. Sometimes it can be painful. And sometimes do want to mask that pain with, like you said, all of those different things. Drinking, drugs, gambling. it's not all human beings, but it is human nature,

Sonia: 30:49

Mm hmm,

Ad: 30:50

rightly or wrongly.

Sonia: 30:53

right. Yeah, I think that's the way we're wired.

Ad: 30:57

I think so. Can I ask this is, I, this is just a question that I want to ask you. So. Before you decided to actually wake up at, for me, a ridiculous time in the morning and start writing, were you always slightly, I don't know, I get from you that you're spiritual. I, or I don't know, I don't want to put any label on it. You've just got a very good outlook. And have you always had that?

Sonia: 31:36

Yes, I think that I've always felt a deep connection to source.

Ad: 31:40

Okay.

Sonia: 31:41

God. I, I've felt, many times as a child when I would come out of my body and travel in space, uh, and see stars and just have out of body experiences like that. I, I kind of would tell my mother about these dreams that I had, where I would leave and, she would say, you know, cut that out. Like, don't be weird, and, so it was just sort of put aside and I would think like I might be insane or maybe I'm crazy, because I would ask, you know, and of course, nobody else really You know, my sisters didn't have that experience and they were, you know, what's the matter with you? And so I kind of kept that a lot to myself as a child And tried to work my way out of it actually is to cut that off of myself That part of me away because it was I didn't understand it. It was slightly frightening to me But I think that I've reconnected to that in my later adult life when I needed it. I saw something the other day that, was speaking about the name of God, Yahweh, like being Y H W H when they look in the text and that's what, when Moses asked God what was his name. And that's the sound of breath in and out, you know, an inhalation and an exhalation and that the name of God or whomever you would want to say, if you have to give it a name is to breathe out like that. If we sigh, like a heavy sigh, when we're sad, we're actually calling. On love. And when we breathe in, we are breathing that source. That is our life force. That is where our connection is. And that when we breathe in, we come into being. And when we breathe out our last breath, we leave with that name on our lips. And I think that's such a beautiful connection and why I do love meditation and you know, I can connect very deeply to that. there's sort of this universal consciousness that people speak about and I've been there. It's where everything and every information, all the knowledge that ever was is there. And when you're in it, you sort of realize like, wow, we don't, I don't know anything, you know, there's just everything. And, but it's accessible to us. And we can see it. We also have knowings that we come with. And I think that my knowing was that there was only love. And that there was nothing to fear, because it was always there. I've contemplated death, I think, every day of my life. And in knowing that, there is no fear. I've often wondered, why are people so afraid? There's only love there, and what's to fear? I never understood that, but I get it, but I also believe, it's just a knowing that I have, and I've had that since a child. So I do have that sort of spiritual, connection. but I've also lived a life where I really sank into The princess tale and became the girl that really wanted to present herself as having everything and having success and being defined by my peers and others as enviable and, desirable. And so I think I've swung deeply into both sides of the ways of what is real, that there's the physical life that we live here and then the spiritual. And I think that, we're going to the spiritual side, whether we want to leave here or not. And, but while we're here on the physical side, I think that the purpose is to realize that you're actually, A spirit having a physical experience and that's the magic of it, is if you sink too much into the physical reality, like you're going to create a legacy and you're going to be forever and everything you build will last forever and this is all, you know, all the things have meaning and status and things like that. It's empty. It's very empty. You get there and you're just emptied out and lonely. because you can't be separate from others and that's sort of, it's like wandering in the wrong direction and you find yourself farther away from all of us, from the oneness of being and then you're just drawn back into it. You just need to come back and find where did I turn off this path that led me here, you know, because this isn't what I'm seeking. And your heart knows that.

Ad: 36:12

but for you, did Everything need to come tumbling down for you to realize that because you mentioned about your divorce and your child going to live with her dad. So, did it all need to, I guess sometimes do we need to reach, I don't know, the

Sonia: 36:36

I think

Ad: 36:37

bottom, basically.

Sonia: 36:38

did. I think I did, and I think because of the arrogance, I think. Because in my mind, there's sort of, I have a strong mind, and if my mind is made up that I know that this is the way to be, that, I've given everything, and I've worked this hard, and I've earned this, and I've done this. And it should be like this, you know, that love is this transactional state that when I give this much, I expect to receive it back. And, and when you're stuck in that way of being and the certainty of yourself, well, yes, life is going to deal you blows in order to knock you off that pedestal. Because you've placed yourself in a situation where your mind is blocking your heart. from finding its truth and in its, and it's simply surging forward. And so the universe is, it's going to come to a dead end. and you'll just hit that brick wall and that's part of it. I actually can say, I mean, it was so painful to go through all these things that I went through. And when you read the book, you'll see, Athena had a life of trauma and a lot of pain and suffering. and you hope for her, you know, we root for her because we want to champion our small self. that's how we feel about underdog stories. We all feel that way. We want to overcome and triumph. And so we're rooting for her. and you see that you think that the world is putting upon her all these things, but in the end, she actually, and I don't want to spoiler alert,

Ad: 38:09

No, please don't, please

Sonia: 38:11

yeah, and I won't, I won't say in the end, but you'd have to read it because it's, it's surprising what she discovers. it will surprise you. And I think it will just surprise the world. And I won't say it here, Ad, but if you want to talk to me again about it, once these four books come to the public eye, and I do believe it will become quite a conversation, I'd love if you read all four, and then let me know what you think of it, having spoken to me, because it's, it's this way, nobody can truly know a person. Except for you, and that's the gift of being you, is that you're gifted this wonderful way to be in a body, and you developing this relationship with Ad is so important. Because you are important. It's important that you know her, that you understand her, that you seek out what is, where is the suffering and what is, what are the stories that she's telling herself because you will know the truth there. You can know yourself, but you can never know this of another person. We're not privy to it, to all of it, only in our own self, but because we are one. If I search it out in myself and I find what is in me, then I can see what is in you, and I can see you. I would love... to speak to the world about love, to advocate for love, and I honestly, I don't care so much about getting paid to do it. I would do it for free, honestly, I would, because I think it's so important. I would love if people bought the books and read them, and I would love to write other books, and that's effort, and if people, you know, bought books for my effort, that would be lovely too, but I really and truly just. believe so deeply in all of us, while we're here, this is our time. And while I'm here in the time that I have, I really can't waste too much of it, not speaking to it. It is, it matters so much that we're gentle with each other, that we are loving and kind to one another. It is as to our own self. and this harmful way of being and the traumas we inflict on each other and the mean ways that we are. It's simply a waste of our time. And in not knowing that, there's so much suffering and fear that's created, and really just to soothe that is my mission.

Ad: 40:48

I'm glad you found your purpose because some people don't ever get there. feel a bit bad because I'm not sure if I've asked enough questions about you as an author because I've just been, I've just been listening to you and your message and your wisdom.

Sonia: 41:07

it's not arrogant to love being you, to love being in your body, to love being you, to tell yourself you're gorgeous, you're amazing, you're everything, that's not full of yourself. Arrogance is comparison. Arrogance is I'm better than you. which is like the same as insecurity. I'm not as good as you. And if we just stayed away from comparison, which is the phone, that's all that's doing. The phone is a program to make people compare and just steal our peace. but if we just stayed away from comparison and you in your own self, you get to luxuriate in being love in your vessel and you get to appreciate it and to adore it. And to put your mind and a heart in a love affair with each other and this way that you have of sort of being self deprecating, but in my mind, I want to say don't because you don't deserve that. You deserve to be celebrated and to be joyous. and in your wonder and in what you're doing, it's amazing what you're doing. And I'm so, so appreciative of you. And I, my sincere hope would be that you are as well appreciative of you.

Ad: 42:24

it's a work in progress. I,

Sonia: 42:27

We all are.

Ad: 42:28

in progress.

Sonia: 42:28

Yes, we all are. We're all on that path, on that path of discovery, of remembering, you know, exactly how divine we are.

Ad: 42:39

Honestly, thank you so much.

Sonia: 42:41

You're welcome. You're very welcome. I love talking to you.

Ad: 42:44

Can I just ask you, before you go, because I'm in the United Kingdom, So I know where I can get links for people who listen who are in the United States. I, am sure I can probably find links for people in Canada as well. Are the books on Amazon UK? I don't know why I'm, okay, perfect. Perfect.

Sonia: 43:14

Amazon UK, and the first audio book is also out. E books are out.

Ad: 43:20

Oh my God, you have the audio. I'm so excited.

Sonia: 43:25

Yeah, and the second and third ones actually, I just have little re records to do on them, and they'll be released probably in November, the second and third books. And I did narrate them, so it's my voice speaking the books.

Ad: 43:41

Honestly, I'm listening to you. I'm just now, I've picked up my phone and gone onto my app to basically, get it. Oh, that's so exciting.

Sonia: 43:51

you. Thank you. the three books that are out right now. Like, I mean, and it's nuts. Like I wrote these so quickly, but they are like have this overarching like address on racism, sexism, classism, ageism, ableism, like all the ways that we're valued and all the ways that we've been separated, which are. Not valid, you know, but we sort of it's like our experience created our belief system our belief system as In adulthood creates our experience. So where we're still experiencing It's a belief system and this is what where it goes and I'm just gonna say that But that when you are in the privacy of your own home reading a book and you're not being confronted by anyone or anything You alone know what you embody what you carry You will hear what is in you and when you're listening and you're feeling what Athena feels And if you're vibing with her, there's something very specific in there that's a very very sneaky little thing that you know just caught her eye and And that's where healing has to come from is we have to confront our belief systems What do we believe is? Because things that we believe are truths are not And when you're hit with that, and that, that's how you've built your life and how you've conducted yourself, then you have a dilemma, and you have to solve it, and you're called to, and that's it. You can, you will pick your path, and this will not be something that's outside of you, that's going on and you have nothing to do with it. It is all of us, and that's really what my hope is.

Ad: 45:37

Okay, I do have a question, and this is very, this is very cynical of me. How will you get this out to the group that,

Sonia: 45:54

everyone needs to read it, but there is a subset, I would say, of the population that I would love to. Me. If you're me, like me, you probably need to read it, which is, you know, somewhere lower middle class, North American, white society, European background maybe, like, anyone in that realm of Gen X and the predominant society that's on the march right now, like, running things. It's like, read this book, especially women. Because it's just like when you're a woman, you, you also are in this classification of like, you know, and you don't feel equal in a lot of ways. Like I never felt equal to people. I always thought it's better to be a guy. It would have been better. they have more power. They can do whatever they want.

Ad: 46:41

I'm not sure. We haven't really, although people keep saying, no, we're getting there. We're not there. We

Sonia: 46:47

no, and this is

Ad: 46:48

aren't there.

Sonia: 46:49

like, what is getting there? Where, like, what does that even mean right now? I know that that's simply a story. That's simply a societal story. They just keep peddling the same. There's a, there's an end. It'll come, it'll be. No, it takes no time actually, it's instantaneous. when you realize what you are, when you embody what the love is and what's inside of us, you see everyone as equal. Like, it's without, you see a child as equal, you see an older person as equal, you see everybody. Everybody, without exception, is a miracle. It is absolutely, like I, this is where I'm like, I cannot imagine anything more fun than just meeting another person and unwrapping it like a Christmas package. This person comes with all their own, whatever. It's like, And this, the next one, and it'll be different, and the next one, and the next one. And this is as I've treated people for 30 years, and spoken to so many children. I mean, children just, they're unfiltered, so they just

Ad: 47:48

They're the best. they're the best.

Sonia: 47:50

Their beauty. but then I know this. That beauty lives in every adult. I see your inner child. I see your light. And it's like, I just, I would just, you know, you open to me and it's like, This is the most beautiful person, you know, and It's just like an incredible journey to, to want to see each other and to want to be with each other and enjoy our time while we're here without fear, without all this anxiety and nonsense that goes on and the cruelty. It just, it's there, but it's like, it's our choice. And why we choose that is kind of, I think like where I have to confront people and say you're making your choices be aware because your choices have impact. It's not that you don't matter. Every one of us is a universe and when we exert an effect, there is like that cause and effect. We, if we have a belief, that system will exist. And we have to examine how am I holding, where am I placing my energy? Where does my energy reside? Did someone take it from me as a child and plug it into there? Am I even aware of it? I have to become aware so I can unplug it.

Ad: 49:04

Thank you so much.

Sonia: 49:06

You're welcome. You're very welcome. And thank you for having me on as a guest.

Ad: 49:10

You have been. An absolute pleasure. Thank you, thank you so much for joining me on another episode. I'll be back in a couple of weeks thank you and do the best by yourselves and try and do the best by other people because we can do better, always.